are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How external is "for external use only"?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
