im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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