I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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