Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
