My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize