I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
