What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize