I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
