8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
