Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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