honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
