he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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