I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
