You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
