yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Come share oat with me in your robe
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