I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Who died my cat blue again?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
