we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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