Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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