I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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