I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
