Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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