Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
