Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize