We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
