I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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