Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
