just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
