God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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