So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I want to walk on stilts...naked
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
