Sponge bath it is.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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