I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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