so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize