We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
