Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it glows. i had to have it.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
