In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
