Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized

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(646): View more from New York

He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b

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(1-415): View more from California

What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?

(415): View more from California

Irish Spring?

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(843): View more from South Carolina

By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over

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(516): View more from New York

its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?

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(817): View more from Texas

Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.

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(516): View more from New York

I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die

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