Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
