Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
