I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
