HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
