You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
