Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
