So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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