just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
