I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
