called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
