Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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