So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
