Are we in a gay sports bar?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
