whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
