Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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