Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
