Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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