so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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