Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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