Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
