shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize