I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
