Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I wish you could order shots online.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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