How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
