oh god the rape fog is back!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
