dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
