I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
